A candid, compassionate look at the challenges and freedoms of the single life. How do we live a life sold-out for God, as single Christian people?

Our world, and indeed our church, seem to be built around a "couples culture". From popular music to supermarket offers to "family" events, being single can mean being the odd one out. Kate Wharton considers the challenges facing singles, addressing the issues of being complete without an "other half", staying pure, being single again after divorce or bereavement, and dealing with pressures from both church and society. Kate reminds us that Jesus comes to bring "life to the full", whatever our marital status. "When we are sold out for God," she says, "then life will be the very best that it can be - whether married or single, with children or without - because we will be on our way to becoming who we were created to be." Kate shows us how we can be single and whole.

"A delightful book. Perceptive, open, and startlingly honest." -- Elaine Storkey "Reading this book felt like sitting by the fire and having an honest chat about personal issues with a friend." -- Ian and Nadine Parkinson "With great honesty, clarity and insight Kate looks at this vital issue for the Church in a powerful way!" -- Gavin Calver "Kate Wharton is the real deal!" -- Andy Hawthorne OBE "You will not be able to deny the honesty, humour, and humanity of this book." -- The Right Reverend James Jones "Honest, funny and positive... a great deal of wisdom for both single and married people." -- Graham Tomlin Kate knows what she is talking about, and she imbues this, her first book, with that insight borne out of experience and practice. With a growing number of singles in our churches, we all, married or not, need to understand each other better so that we can minister God's grace to each. We want to commend this book to both single and married, all will be better equipped by its insights. It will become a classic; buy your copy before it's sold out! -- John &amp; Anne Coles, Leaders of New Wine, in their Foreword "A celebration of the single state." Methodist Recorder 20140421

Kate is Vicar of St. George's Church in Everton, Liverpool. Before ordination she worked as a Speech &amp; Language Therapist and then as a Church Pastoral Assistant. She enjoys travelling, playing badminton, watching football, and going out with friends. She is a regular speaker at New Wine. She has been single for 33 years!

Our world, and indeed our church, seem to be built around a -couples culture-. From popular music to supermarket offers to -family- events, being single can mean being the odd one out. Kate Wharton considers the challenges facing singles, addressing the issues of being complete without an -other half-, staying pure, being single again after divorce or bereavement, and dealing with pressures from both church and society. Kate reminds us that Jesus comes to bring -life to the full-, whatever our marital status. -When we are sold out for God,- she says, -then life will be the very best that it can be ' whether married or single, with children or without ' because we will be on our way to becoming who we were created to be.- Kate shows us how we can be single and whole.

__Contents__  
Acknowledgments 9  
Foreword 13  
Introduction 15  
1 Wholly single 21  
2 Living a God-obsessed life in a marriage-obsessed church 49  
3 Purely single 77  
4 Living a God-obsessed life in a sex-obsessed world 97  
5 Single again 125  
6 Living together 147  
7 Happily ever after… 171  
Recommended reading 189  
Notes 190

Kate Wharton

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Praise for Single-Minded

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Introduction

1 Wholly single

2 Living a God-obsessed life in a marriage-obsessed church

3 Purely single

4 Living a God-obsessed life in a sex-obsessed world

5 Single again

6 Living together

7 Happily ever after…

Notes

Wharton, Kate

We live in a couples culture, where a partner, if not a spouse, is assumed; where the expectation is that unmarried people will be sexually active even if not in a committed relationship. But what about those who because of their faith, or their preferences, choose to remain celibate until they find Mr or Miss Right? Kate Wharton tackles directly and compassionately the questions that this choice throws up: issues of identity (church roles and social invitations alike too often assume 'a couple'); finance (it is much cheaper to live together than alone); sexual pressure (staying pure, in thought as well as deed); friendship (including being friends with the opposite sex) and calling (the cost of obedience may preclude marriage). What challenges face those who, through divorce or death, are single again? This positive, honest book will be a source of wisdom and comfort to anyone who is single, whether or not they expect to remain so.

"A delightful book. Perceptive, open, and startlingly honest." -- Elaine Storkey "Reading this book felt like sitting by the fire and having an honest chat about personal issues with a friend." -- Ian and Nadine Parkinson "With great honesty, clarity and insight Kate looks at this vital issue for the Church in a powerful way!" -- Gavin Calver "Kate Wharton is the real deal!" -- Andy Hawthorne OBE "You will not be able to deny the honesty, humour, and humanity of this book." -- The Right Reverend James Jones "Honest, funny and positive... a great deal of wisdom for both single and married people." -- Graham Tomlin Kate knows what she is talking about, and she imbues this, her first book, with that insight borne out of experience and practice. With a growing number of singles in our churches, we all, married or not, need to understand each other better so that we can minister God's grace to each. We want to commend this book to both single and married, all will be better equipped by its insights. It will become a classic; buy your copy before it's sold out! -- John &amp; Anne Coles, Leaders of New Wine, in their Foreword "A celebration of the single state." Methodist Recorder 20140421 "Fabulously down to earth, honest, fun, biblical and enjoyable to read. What more could you want from a book. Single Minded is a timely piece of writing addressing issues that face singles in our world and church today. But not just for singles; it is an uplifting book whatever your marital status." New Wine Magazine 'Kate Wharton is a vicar from Liverpool who, by her own admission, has never had a boyfriend. In her courageous, cliche-free and highly personal book, she addresses with humour and candour both the pluses and minuses of the single life. \[...\] This is an excellent book.' -- Jeremy Moody Christianity 20131101

North West Vicar &amp; New Wine speaker Kate Wharton tackles the subject of singleness with honesty and a biblical perspective

Vicar and New Wine speaker, Kate Wharton, encourages those who face the challenge if single life within the church.

The ‘couples culture’ is everywhere: church family events, valentine’s day, cinema, popular music and even supermarket offers. Being single can often mean you are singled-out. But Kate wants to encourage Christians, holding singleness up as a unique opportunity for holiness, personal development and Christian living.

In her book, Kate tackles the common challenges many face when reconciling their relational choices:  
• Issues of Identity: church roles, social invitations and being whole without an ‘other half’  
• Finance: learning to live alone when it’s cheaper to live with others  
• Sexual Pressure: staying pure, in thinking as well as action  
• Friendship: how to be ‘just friends’ with the opposite sex  
• Calling: when the cost of obedience is to stay single  
• Divorce or Bereavement: learning to be single again

“When we are sold out for God,” she says, “then life will be the very best that it can be – whether married or single, with children or without – because we will be on our way to becoming who we were created to be.”

Kate is Vicar of St. George’s Church in Everton, Liverpool. Before ordination she worked as a Speech &amp; Language Therapist and then as a Church Pastoral Assistant. She enjoys travelling, playing badminton, watching football, and going out with friends. She is a regular speaker at New Wine. She has been single for 33 years!

Philippa Linton

Kate, an evangelical vicar in her mid-thirties, writes with refreshing candour and clarity on the spiritual, sexual, emotional and cultural pressures facing Christian singles. Not only do we face pressures from a secular culture that doesn't understand or else openly despises our biblical view of sex, but we can also encounter unhelpful attitudes from within the Church. (Certainly, in my experience, evangelical churches seem to assume that their singles are magically asexual.) Kate tackles some of these unhelpful cliches and attitudes, and also encourages Christian singletons to dialogue honestly with their married friends about the kind of counsel that can be unhelpful, even hurtful. She also encourages a two-way dialogue: sometimes singles can have unhelpful assumptions about marriage. She has a whole chapter on being 'single again', i.e. after divorce or bereavement. Whatever the reasons for one's singleness - and the reasons vary greatly - and whether you carry painful emotional/sexual baggage (or not), this is a clear, practical and highly affirming book. Kate encourages us all, whatever our marital status, to live positive, Christ-centred, Christ-honouring lives. And she never once mentions that most tedious of evangelical cliches, the so-called 'gift of singleness'. God bless you for that, Kate. ;) And thanks for a great book!

Positive, affirming and refreshingly honest

Single and Whole in a World of Couples

Single-Minded

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