__'Here's a great resource which is well based in the Bible and contemporary counselling practice and yet is practical, manageable, and provides a step-by-step guide towards being set free from guilt, as Christ intends. 'Derek Tidball, Former Principal of London School of Theology__\* Have you been forgiven but you still feel guilty?

\* Does something from your past nag away despite all your best efforts to shrug it off?

\* Do mistakes loom large in your thinking and do your conversations start with an apology?

Many people are paralysed with guilt. Guilt robs you of freedom, peace and joy. It can make you feel unacceptable or isolated. Jesus' forgiveness is the ultimate remedy for guilt, but even for those who believe, guilty feelings can still present a lingering problem.

The Guilt Book combines biblical theology and modern psychology, offering a fresh perspective and helping us differentiate between our true guilt, for which forgiveness is needed, and false guilt, for which a psychological approach will help.

Together, we will challenge entrenched cycles of guilt, with their associated feelings of hopelessness and despair. Freedom from persistent guilt is possible. Peace is worth fighting for.

Will van der Hart

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Introduction

A personal journey

Making your journey to freedom

Your destination – the haven of peace

1. Guilty or not guilty – two types of guilt

Two types

Some definitions

True guilt

False guilt

Type spotting

Taking action: noticing guilty thoughts

Summary

Exercises

2. Guilty as sin – and how true guilt is healed

Fig leaf, anyone?

True guilt: a healing framework

Exercise

True guilt – true punishment

Getting personal

Religious confusion

A word about atheists and guilt

3. Guilty by design – why false guilt flourishes

The origins of guilt

Three mechanisms for change

Circuits in the brain

Guilt and clinical depression

Guilt proneness

The father of lies

Identifying thinking styles

4. Guilt edged – a life tinged with badness

Guilt we experience when we parent or lead (our roles)

Five ways to manage parenting guilt (or responsibility-based guilt)

Guilt we experience because of how we were parented (our relationships)

Learning cultures and guilt (our realities)

A consumer society and guilt (our realities)

A church divided by guilt (our religion)

5. A guilty conscience – spotting false-guilt traps

'It must be bad...'

False-guilt traps

5. Perfectionism

6. Guilt and shame – facing feelings and actions

A challenge for the brave

Three false-guilt slaying techniques

Tolerating uncertainty

Living with future guilt threats

Building the confidence to stop reacting

7. Accepting forgiveness – living in the present

Guilt getting personal

Giving up your grievance story

Self-soothing

THINK compassionately towards yourself

Getting help to get over guilt

8. Guilt and joy – a better journey

Turning the inside out

My 'bill of rights'

What is keeping me from my 'rights'

Attached to guilt

True self-compassion rooted in Jesus

A gentle journey of surrender

The haven of peace revisited

Some possible answers to the 'I' statement revision exercise

Appendix 1: Prayers and meditations

The discernment prayer (when exploring the difference between true and false guilt)

The sinner's prayer (when conscious of true and unrepented of sin)

The walk (a meditation on the prison cell)

A prayer of forgiveness for guilt induction

A prayer for courage to challenge false guilt

The compassion prayer (for times of self-criticism and self-attack)

The abandonment prayer (for when you need to give up fighting your fears)

Appendix 2: More practical help

1. What is the Cognitive Behavioural approach?

2. What to do when guilt really takes hold

3. Seeing a therapist

4. Getting urgent help

5. More about depression

6. What about more severe guilt and depression?

7. What to do if you start slipping backwards

Appendix 3: More resources

Time to change

Frank's story

LLTTF – With God

'Here's a great resource which is well based in the Bible and contemporary counselling practice and yet is practical, manageable, and provides a step-by-step guide towards being set free from guilt, as Christ intends. 'Derek Tidball, Former Principal of London School of Theology

\* Have you been forgiven but you still feel guilty?

\* Does something from your past nag away despite all your best efforts to shrug it off?

\* Do mistakes loom large in your thinking and do your conversations start with an apology?

Many people are paralysed with guilt. Guilt robs you of freedom, peace and joy. It can make you feel unacceptable or isolated. Jesus' forgiveness is the ultimate remedy for guilt, but even for those who believe, guilty feelings can still present a lingering problem.

The Guilt Book combines biblical theology and modern psychology, offering a fresh perspective and helping us differentiate between our true guilt, for which forgiveness is needed, and false guilt, for which a psychological approach will help.

Together, we will challenge entrenched cycles of guilt, with their associated feelings of hopelessness and despair. Freedom from persistent guilt is possible. Peace is worth fighting for.

Combining strong theology and psychology, this book offers a fresh perspective and helps us understand &amp; deal with guilt

Foreword by J.John  
Introduction  
  
1\. Guilty or not guilty  
2\. Guilty as sin  
3\. Guilty by design  
4\. Guilt-edged  
5\. A guilty conscience  
6\. Guilt and shame  
7\. Accepting forgiveness  
8\. Guilt and joy  
  
Appendix

"A wonderfully rich resource for anyone wanting practical help with guilt issues. Waller and van der Hart chart a wise course between unbalanced extremes. They integrate the best of professional psychological wisdom with the classic, orthodox Christian theology. Some hard truths and a timely message to the Church." - Dr Crispin Fletcher-Louie , theologian and previously principle of Westminster Theological Centre.  
  
'Guilt gets you stuck in life... I know. When you get stuck you need help. This book will help. It has the capacity to free you to live life in all its fullness. Some books are highly readable but not much use. Other books are really useful but dull as dishwater. Rob and Will have written a book you will want to read, and which will help you become the person you want to be.' - Revd Karl Martin, Senior Pastor, Central, Edinburgh  
  
"Guilt is something I have always been weighed down by, and I know so many friends who have the same battle, reliving situation after situation in our heads. This book looks both theologically and practically at helping me see where my thinking has gone wonky and helping me to realise it doesn't have to be that way. Can't really recommend it highly enough! I shall be returning to it over and over." - Katherine Welby  
  
"Here's a great resource which is well based in the Bible and contemporary counselling practice and yet is practical, manageable, and provides a step-by-step guide towards being set free from guilt, as Christ intends." - Derek Tidball, Former Principal of London School of Theology

Guilt Book

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